I have been fascinated with puzzles and blind spots, with things that are visible, yet hidden. Human nature is an endlessly interesting puzzle. Using storytelling and what Aristotle calls pathos, naming emotions and describing them, the attuning process gives one the ability to detach and to understand one’ s suffering. Through re-storying, or creating a better story, one starts living with more joy and ease. It’s as simple and complex as it gets. Yet it works, and those who benefit want to share our attuning practices with friends and family.
Daria has always been extremely good at her work as a finance manager at a successful start up taking a lot of risk, yet she always felt such a loser in her love life. Her relationships with men have failed, she thought, and she had no idea why. She seemed particularly adept at choosing men who were unreliable, and self-centered. She was taking risks, after all.
Markus was happily married for many years to the same man, Rolf. Yet his work was far from creative and satisfying. He always ended up in organizations that did not seem to appreciate him, working with people who gossiped and had it in for each other. He had no idea why things always seemed to happen the same way for him. He really liked everybody, and wanted to get along.
Daria and Markus have met in one of the Attuning workshops.
As much as these stories are simplified versions of the lives of these people, their story resonated with many of the other participants. Seeing others go through similar struggles, Markus and Daria had the same insight– it is easier to see one’s own blind spot, one’s own pattern, in another person. The process of attuning to happiness seemed to go a lot faster in an environment where everyone was heard and seen.
Daria and Markus paired up as we explored the repeating patterns that kept them unable to enjoy more happiness in some major aspect of their lives. In our workshop, we offer participants tools and practices that are light enough to use outside a therapeutic environment yet powerful enough to help people understand themselves better so that they can shift slightly, yet consistently, in healthier directions.
The environment we create is safe, and storytelling brings lightness and laughter even as we do serious work. We take a journey together, so to speak, first to discover what keeps us from joy (discovery), then to add new elements to the old story, which now becomes a new story all together (alchemy); then we learn how to embody the new story every day using tips from disciplines such as positive psychology and neurolinguistics (embodiment).
We coach each participant individually during the online workshops, but sometimes they get the most support from each other. We simply facilitate a journey towards ease (removal of difficulty) and joy (living the best life). Nothing is forced, and nothing is forceful. Each participant receives tools and guidance yet they direct the entire process. The Attuning process is just that, attuning, small cognitive and behavioral shifts, a delicate approach that focuses on the proper attunement depending on each personal story. It turns out, just as in the case of Daria and Markus, that in the end, living better is possible, and that joy may be one or two attunements away.
If you encounter the same sort of difficulty in your life again and again, perhaps you might be inclined to explore with us the pattern that keeps you running in circles. Here is our new program on LIVING WITH JOY!